I’ve got a new post up on the Mother Earth News blog – The ABCs of Homesteading: M is for Meat.  I know I’ve been writing about meat a lot lately. But, for whatever reason, that feels like my battle.

I had a revelation a couple weeks ago – one that came at the expense of another lost life on the farm.  I’ll tell you about that in another blog when the wounds are a little less fresh and I have the space and distance to process the experience.  But, let’s just say for now, that I have finally accepted that some things are just out of my control. For a former Legal Administrator and bonafide control freak to say that, you know the experience was big – which is why a longer blog will be in order…

Now, if you are reading my blog, then I suspect you are pretty tuned in to the fact that even as you read these worlds, our environment is collapsing.  This week, new reports showed that we have less than a 5% chance of keeping global warming under 2º C.  Let’s just call that zero to none.

I’ve known for years that we didn’t really have a chance… not because I am a pessimist, but because in my years as a legal administrator, I never saw someone come back from a downward spiral – at least not until they hit rock bottom.

The reality is, the moment we feel like things are hopeless… they are. And I think too many of us have been feeling like that, for too long, for it not to be true.

In my old career, there were a few people I remained in touch with after they had hit rock bottom.  And I had the great fortune of witnessing them build something new on that rock hard foundation they landed on.

Sometimes you have to start from scratch to make something worthwhile.  In fact, most of the time you do.

Matt’s in the kitchen making sourdough bread.  I can hear him slamming the dough on the counter, kneading it, and working it until it begins to take shape.  Then he gives it time to develop its full character before he crafts it into something simple and beautiful. Of course, I can also hear him swearing because the fire alarm keeps going off from the smoke caused by the browning corn meal he used to keep his loaves from sticking to the sheet pan.

What I am trying to say –  in my round about way – is that even though we are messed up human beings, living in a messed up world, we can still do amazing, beautiful things that belie the fact that we are flawed and feckless.

I am not the best farmer, best butcher, best writer, or best person to be putting my ideas out there. But sometimes, something just speaks to you, like Matt and his dough.  And sometimes you just have to become the voice for that thing so others can hear what you hear.

I love animals so much. Sometimes it hurts to be a person that can and does wield a knife and take a life.  And yet I must.

The world we live in now is hopeless.  I do truly believe that.

And yet I also know that there is always hope.